Time: 08:40
Yesterday, I submitted my son’s application for the KPSS exam. Today, I paid the exam fee as well. But the gentleman himself doesn’t seem to care in the slightest. Last night, he stayed at his grandmother’s because of his obsession with his motorcycle. Never mind that. Apparently, they were watching the match at his friend’s house in the evening. It’s as if the world could be ending and he wouldn’t care one bit.
His motorcycle is due for maintenance, and yesterday he asked me for money for it. You keep track of when your motorcycle needs maintenance, but why don’t you care about your exam? It’s impossible to understand.
I told my husband about it. He called our son in the evening and asked him about the exam application. His Highness didn’t even know the date. While he keeps track of all kinds of ridiculous things, he doesn’t keep track of the things he actually needs to follow. It’s impossible not to lose your mind.
My husband said he wasn’t going to give him the money for the motorcycle maintenance. I told him he should take care of it himself and leave me out of it.
Sometimes I can’t help criticizing myself, either. Back then, I wanted my son to experience the family closeness and attention that I never received from my own family. Since my family hadn’t shown me that kind of care, I wanted to make sure my son had it. But I suppose I may have gone too far and lost my sense of balance.
I’m not saying this only about my son, but I sometimes feel that the younger generation has no real purpose in life. Their attitude seems to be, “Let’s order food and eat, then pull the covers over ourselves and sleep.” It’s hard not to get frustrated, but unfortunately, there isn’t much one can do about it.
I have a lot to do outside today. I’m going for laser hair removal. I had a very hard time waking up again this morning. I woke up during the night feeling nauseous. I felt a little better after taking some medication, but since I couldn’t sleep afterward, my morning plans were disrupted again.
I really need to find a solution to these nighttime awakenings. At this rate, I suppose taking a sleeping pill will be my last resort.
After the laser treatment, I need to go to the library. If I have enough time, I’d like to do some writing, either at a café or at the library. I haven’t started writing my stories yet. I have projects in my head, but I can’t seem to organize them properly.
My priority is to transfer my diaries to the computer. When I work on everything piece by piece, everything gets left unfinished and nothing really moves forward. I realized this very clearly while working on my book journal. Once I finish transferring the diaries, I’ll have more time to create a proper schedule for myself.
Now I should have breakfast. I need to leave afterward.
I’ve really missed writing in my notebook, too. I think I should also have a planner specifically for my to-do list. I keep my writing topics on the computer, but I can’t seem to open the file and look at it during the day. I need something physically visible in front of me—something I can look at and cross things off as I complete them.
That’s actually how I used to work in my professional life. But at some point, I stopped working that way at home, and I never got back into the habit. I suppose when you stop doing something that works for you, this is what happens in the end: an overwhelming, impossible-to-organize mess.
Anyway, as the saying goes, “It’s never too late to turn back from a loss.” There is a reason people say, “It’s better to turn back from where you went wrong than to keep going.”
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